Spongebob a Little TOO Soft for Some

Soak this one up. Christian Groups have recently slammed the children’s cartoon Spongebob Squarepants for promoting homosexuality to kids. The purple Teletubby and him have joined forces to infiltrate and spread gayness at an early age.

Apparently the group, erroneously called Focus on the Family, is up in arms about a video where Spongebob appears with a few other television pals about tolerance and multiculturalism after 9/11.

Here’s an actual quote from the leader Christian fundamentalist whack-job about the Spongebob video.

"We see the video as an insidious means by which the organization is manipulating and potentially brainwashing kids," he said. "It is a classic bait and switch."

CLASSIC bait and switch. Happens all the time. The evil cartoon empire lures children in with loveable characters and then swaps them for naked men having sex with each other. Classic.

I personally don’t see anything wrong with him. Last thing I heard there’s nothing in the Bible about enjoying a little carefree cartoon sponge hangin’ out with his buddies. He looks like a sponge version of Dilbert, actually. And he’s not gay, that I’m aware of. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Cartoons were never criticized as potentially gay in the past. Speed Racer was never accused of “driving on the other side of the road.” The environmentalist superhero Captain Planet, clearly quite liberal, was never questioned about “swinging that way.” Even He-Man never stirred up this kind of controversy.

Besides, a gay cartoon would never be caught dead in socks like those.