Game Over

Here at Miscellaneous Thoughts we usually don’t focus on celebrity news. We like to hold our website to a higher standard, not one that drags the murky waters of tabloid journalism like Entertainment Tonight. But today was a slow news day what with North Korea merely announcing that it has nuclear capabilities and a continuing war in Iraq just days after an important democratic election. Forget all that though, because even Mary Hart would agree, this is real news.

Mario and Princess are calling it quits.

After 10 long years of marriage, the two are parting ways in what is considered one of the nastiest and most heart-breaking divorces in show business, both parties stating that things were not so "super." This recent development amidst allegations that the Princess has been having a torrid love affair with Mario’s brother and partner in crime fighting, Luigi.

Luigi declined comment.

This couple got together in 1990 after Mario heroically rescued her from the clutches of Bowser for the third time.

Bowser has since gone on to recording rap albums, including his most recent album “Little Bow-Bow,” the follow-up to his hit multi-platinum record “No Limit Koopa.” He said the whole kidnapping thing was just a misunderstanding. “I wasn’t throwing hammers AT Mario. I was just practicing my hammer throwing in his general vicinity. I think that’s happened to us all, hasn’t it?”

The Princess is quoted at the divorce hearing as saying, “You never even rescue me any more!”
Mario exclaimed vehemently, “Mama mia! Sometimes I wish I had never even rescued you all those times!”

The Princess continued later to reporters, saying “Sure, it was fun at first. There was Mario Party 1. Then Mario Party 2. But soon there were so many parties, that I was beginning to wonder if we were ever going to have time by ourselves. You know, like old times.
Plus, he never does anything nice for me. I mean, the one time he brought me flowers he ended up eating them, then throwing fire balls all around the room.”