Quick Thoughts About the Dentist

Yeah, yeah. I know the dentist bit is overdone so I'll keep it brief.

After laying precariously in that chair under the interrogation light for enough time, making small talk like it was going out of style, it was time for the routine teeth cleaning.

This is where the hygenist takes a tiny circular sander to your teeth. This high-speed circular motion is supposed to make up for 6 months worth of crappy brushing.

But the best part is when she asks me what flavor I wanted. As if the flavor is going to change the fact that she is literally grinding a layer off of my enamel.

It was like Baskin Robbins' 31 flavors though! It was ridiculous how many flavors they had for cleaning my friggin teeth. She started out with the basics like mint or cherry. Then there was chocolate, chocolate mint, some orange crush one, cookie dough (no, seriously, there was), and on and on. But then I think she was just making them up after that, naming colors and shapes. It was early, so I may have misheard, but I could have sworn I heard a flavoring called "Fettuccini Alfredo." And when I stayed loyal to my roots (I know, bad pun, but its 9 in the morning) and chose mint, she realized she had to go get some more of them. Apparently no one ever picks mint, but usually pick something a little more fun from their extensive teeth-cleaning menu. People are so spoiled.