PETA Cracks Down on Party Games

A spokesman for PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) made a statement today concerning the depiction of cruelty to animals at children's parties.
"We at PETA believe that parents are promoting the ill treatment of animals at parties and gatherings with irresponsible games and activities. We feel that this has gone on long enough. We urge that our fanatics everywhere speak out."

PETA is speaking primarily of the tradition of "Pin the tail on the donkey." The kids are blindfolded, spun an indefinite amount of times, and then asked to pin the tail on a picture of a donkey. Just the thought of puncturing the donkey multiple times for sport has PETA up in arms yet again. But they are more concerned with the fact that rarely does the pin actually go on the ass's ass. One mother and member of PETA said, "I went with my daughter to a party once at her little friend's house and they were playing this awful game. A little boy put the pin right through the donkey's eye! And he laughed about it! I was horrified."
The spokesman added, "And don't even get us started on the petting zoos that sometimes pop up at these events."

PETA doesn't seem to stop, just making outrageous statements whenever their extreme liberalism is ignored. They simultaneously launched a Latin American campaign against the sale of pinatas. "Pinatas shaped like animals," according to PETA, "are beaten senselessly by children around the world not thinking of what it really means. And then they scramble and fight for their innards when the animal is destroyed. Disgusting."
I asked a nearby Mexican boy what he had to say about pinatas and he said, "Muy bien."
So there you have it. A time-honored tradition locked in a vicious battle with animal rights crazies.

It seems that with the crack down on using the copyrighted "Birthday Song," the removal of party games, and the recent concerns with the dangers of 'Ring Around the Rosies' that children will be left with only one option on their birthday... hookahs.