Knighthood
On January 28th, the great producer/director Steven Spielberg was knighted in England. This honor is usually reserved for people that are actually British, but since he's just so darn cool he got knighted. He won't be called "Sir," but will have the option of adding KBE to the end of his name, which stands for Knight of the British Empire.
Spielberg joins the ranks of knighthood with legends Alfred Hitchcock, Paul McCartney, and Elton John. Though I'm pretty sure they don't make yellow and pink polka-dotted armor, I just can't see the Rocket Man riding into battle on a noble steed wielding a mighty sword, protecting over the British Empire. He's not exactly Sir Lancelot. Besides, protecting over the British is left up to the Americans.
And speaking of Americans saving the British, other knights of the round table include former Presidents George Bush and Ronald Reagan. I don't know about you, but I think its kind of weird that the British are trying to recruit our former Commanders in Chief. They're not mercenaries, they're former leaders of the United States. You can't have 'em Queenie. Ok... well... maybe just Reagan. But you gotta trade us Hugh Grant.
Ian Holm and Ian McKellen, two of the actors from the Lord of the Rings, were also knighted recently. I guess the Brits were thinking, "You know who would be a good addition to the brotherhood of knightly guys? Gandalf the Wizard and Bilbo the Hobbit."
So basically, knighthood doesn't really mean anything. Sir or KBE is basically a pointless title... like Queen. They're running a regular medieval fantasy world over there in Britain. Knights don't really have any militaristic responsibility, just like we wouldn't ask the Boy Scouts of America to be our military. Though they don't let gays in their ranks either.
So, in conclusion, Steven Spielberg does not deserve to be knighted. Even I could take him, no problem. And if he's reading this (which I'm sure he is)... Hey, Spiels, me and you. Outside. By the swings. 3 o'clock. We'll see who's knight material.
