Fry Guys

McDonalds has a lot of characters, including Grimace the taste bud (yup, he's a taste bud), but none have it bad quite like the fry guys.
They don't get the credit they deserve. They're always hiding behind Ronald and his big red afro. Or the Hamburgaler and his strange fixation on Big Macs.

But the problem is this:

Fry guys, of course, are made entirely out of fries. And when you eat them, you are in fact committing genocide. That's right. Genocide: the killing off of a race. You think you're just eating fries, but you're actually eating the friends, family members, and kinsmen of the beloved fry guys.

You think its fine. You're super sizing it just so you can get more fries and shove them into your gaping, hungry mouth. Salt 'em up real nice and devour them one by one. Those guys were put into baskets and dunked into frying liquid to sizzle and pop, just so you could get something else in your extra value meal.

"America's favorite fries." How many have to die, America? How many?