Hilary Duff Gives Up

In a startling announcement from Hilary Duff, the teen star admitted that she is “not at all cute” at a press conference Monday.

The 17-year-old actress threw in the proverbial towel five years after her debut on “Lizzie McGuire,” apologizing for becoming famous. Duff told reporters she suspected something was wrong when her movie opened seventh at the box office behind many other bad movies and a documentary about penguins. It was only until recently, she added, that she realized she is “incredibly ugly.”

“Like, I was on the set of my new music video and I walked by a mirror in my trailer,” Duff said. “I took a long look. After I threw up in my mouth a little bit, I thought, ‘Wow, I look really really disgusting.’ I went out and called off the video. I’m just too damn ugly.”

Hilary Duff had a very public feud with mildly-attractive movie star Lindsay Lohan over Aaron Carter in 2003. When asked to comment, Carter responded, “Yeah, I was really stuck between a rock and a hard place there. They’re both hideous girls. It was really just a choice between the lesser of two evils. How did I get mixed up with these trolls? Hermoine, if you’re out there, call me!”

Duff allegedly fell off the “ugly tree” and hit every branch on the way down, according to her mother, who is also not a looker.

Duff concluded the press conference saying, “A wise man once told me that everyone is beautiful on the inside. Well, I sold that to the record company a while ago and believe me, it was ugly too.”