Marriage Ban

A county in Oregon has banned all marriages, gay and straight. See here:
http://famulus.msnbc.com/famulusgen/reuters03-23-182738.asp?t=renew&vts=32320041850

All around the nation, couples are rushing to get married in protest of the ban on all marriages. Las Vegas has reported a sudden flood of couples eloping, including recently married Britney Spears, which lasted two and a half minutes. Couples are flocking to get legal marriage licenses before other counties ban all marriages too.

“This is an outrage,” said one woman as she waited in line to get her marriage license, “The very idea of not allowing marriages ruins the sanctity of marriage.”
Her fiancé said, “Marriage is an institution between two people. This decision violates that very principle. And we’re getting married here to protest that decision. This’ll teach those Oregonians.”

A leader of a pro-marriage group said, “It is up to the people to speak out against anti-marriage legislation. It is against our civil rights as Americans. Write your Congressman. That always works.”

Vermont, however, refers to them as civil unions, so they will continue to issue civil union licenses despite the Oregon county’s bold move towards non-marriage.

In response, Oregon officials had this to say: “Vermont isn’t even a real state.”

It is uncertain what the Bush administration will do during this time of turmoil. Some say it is likely he will ban all marriages, following Oregon’s lead. Others say he will stutter something nonsensical.

Either way, the nation is polarized on the issue of marriage. To have them, or to have one giant orgy.