Goldfish Crackers

Who are these people at Pepperidge Farm © ? They've added eyes and a smile to the Goldfish ® crackers we all grew up with as kids. The once expressionless crackers that we used to grab by the handful are now grinning happily. He's smiling while I pop him in my mouth with five of his closest cracker friends.
I still haven't gotten over the trauma of eating a whole bag of gummi bears, now I have to have goldfish chuckling at me? As if it wasn't enough that fruit snacks are shaped like zoo animals and Teddy Grahams have faces and belly buttons? Now they got the Goldfish ® mobile touring the nation in the Miles of Smiles Tour teaching kids it's ok to eat things that smile.

They even have Mr. Goldfish ® on the box wearing sunglasses. It's like he's saying, "It's cool, come eat me." And then he gives you that coy little smile. Well, not this time, pal. You can find someone else to crunch down on your delicious crackery outside and devour you one by one, tasty smiles and all.


Ok... maybe just one.